“Tell me you love me.”

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Challenging the Myth of Modern Love

“The Greeks had the good sense to break love into four levels: “storge” was kinship, “philia” was friendship, “eros,” sexual and romantic love, and finally divine love was known as “agape.”

They might interpret the sentence, “I love you, but I am not ‘in love‘ with you” to mean, “I feel philia toward you but not eros.”

However, while the Greeks gave love four spots in the dictionary, this emotion was feared.  Both Plato and Socrates saw this emotion as, “Love is a serious mental disease,” and “Love is madness.” Moreover, it was the Greeks who coined the phrase, “lovesick.” [1]

Here I go again, stirring up the brown; acting the man of the town. However, given the state of our world, I thought I might add a thought or about what I feel is missing.

For the past few years, we have been inundated with attacks on our vocabulary relative to whether it is conservative, progressive, independent or just plain ridiculous chatter inspired by those challenged in the arts of logic and reality.

“He told me he loves me, but how do I know?”

“She said she loves me, but she did not say it in a politically acceptable manner, so I am wondering if she does love me.”

It appears to me that the use of the phrase, “I love you,” is more of an emotional tool than an expression of true love. To my thinking, saying I love you projects an emotion that may, or may not be honestly felt by the person saying it because it has become mechanical for too many people.

I see nothing wrong in saying I love you, but let us not allow it to become complacent.

“I told you I loved you when I left this morning; all you said was “same here.” Gee thanks, love the effort!

            “I Love You” are three words, not proof of love; anyone who thinks they are is, at least in my book, a damned fool and ignorant of what love is.

            I would rather hear, “I am here for you because I love you.”

            “I am always on time to pick you up for dinner because I love and respect you.”

            I will never understand how people can relate sex to love. “I am going to go home and make mad passionate love to my mate!” Bullshit, you are going home and have wild sex, at least you hope you will. The love part comes in after the sex when you realize that the person in bed with you did not charge for his or her services, did not jump up right after climax to hop in the shower and leave, but stayed in your arms.

            Men are notorious for not saying I love you but equally notorious for using non-verbal forms to communicate their feelings. In relationships, women, or partners if you prefer, tend to listen for the words of love; they want oral communication. Men, on the other hand, tend to show their feelings of love and dedication to their mates with actions. The problem being, their mates, do not always see, or maybe appreciate those actions.

            Do you want examples? OK, how about the man who makes you breakfast, helps with household chores and kisses you, just because you are with him. Is he sending a message? I think so.

            What about the man you are dating; is he always on time to pick you up? Does he take out to beautiful places for dinner, maybe to the theatre? Does he act protective or dominating?

            There are millions of ways a man demonstrates his feelings for someone via actions, but there is only one way to say: “I love you!” You have to ask yourself if not hearing those words every day is more important than all the little things he automatically does because it pleases you.

            Now someone is going to ask, what about the gay relationships? What about them? You have to be a biological male to want to demonstrate your love, nor do you have to be a biological female to receive that love. The key, at least for me, is both the verbal and physical demonstrations of love and union between humans, they are equally important.

“What one does is more important than what one says as in Politicians need to be reminded that actions speak louder than words. This statement, a proverb found in many languages, including ancient Greek, was first worded in precisely this way in English in Colonial Currency (1736).” [2]

I say, look to the mountain to hear the voice in the wind.


[1]              How Do You Define Love? | Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201502/how-do-you- (accessed February 20, 2019).

[2]           The American Heritage Dictionary Of Idioms : Npr, https://www.npr.org/books/titles/173059631/the-american-heritage-dictionary-of-i (accessed February 20, 2019).

Humanity or Insanity?

The Choice is Ours.

Is American becoming, or has it always been, the land of hypocrisy?

“If the state will not trust its citizens to act temperately and sanely without restrictive legislation, let the state use its laws to enforce temperance and sanity. If the state will not allow the conscience to function, let the commands of conscience be unheeded, and commands of state are enforced-if possible. The state has arrogated to itself the power of defining goodness; let it now do its utmost to make its definition felt. If the power of defining goodness is substituted, let the enforcing agency of goodness be substituted, too; i.e., let the police, and not the conscience, make men good. “It is true,” in effect say the mass of people to the state, “we shall render your silly laws lip-service, for you are powerful, and such oral obeisance is expedient-and cheap. But further than that we will assume no responsibility; yours is the law-yours too is the duty of enforcing it.” So, the game begins. Men gravely nod their approval of paternalism when uncompromising zealots are present but thumb their noses and drain their cups when only laughing companions are near to see. Even what sincere observers of Prohibition there are violate with impunity other laws the rationality of which is certainly more evident.” (Ruddy, 1929)

“Hypocrisy is the art of affecting qualities for the purpose of pretending to an undeserved virtue. Because individuals and institutions and societies most often live down to the suspicions about them, hypocrisy and its accompanying equivocations underpin the conduct of life. Imagine how frightful truth unvarnished would be.” [Benjamin F. Martin, “France in 1938,” 2005] (Online Etymology Dictionary: “hypocrisy”, n.d.)

“John Stuart Mill when he observed:

The disposition of mankind, whether as rulers or as fellow-citizens, to impose their own opinions and inclinations as a rule of conduct on others, is so energetically supported by some of the best and by some of the worst feelings incident to human nature, that it is hardly ever kept under restraint by anything but want of power. On Liberty 28 (1885).” (Furman v. Georgia – MR. JUSTICE BRENNAN, concurring., n.d.) (Furman v. Georgia – MR. JUSTICE BRENNAN, concurring., n.d.)

Today, in our Congress, those we elected, pay, and deserve respect from are working long hours on two major concerns in America:

  1. How to keep out borders open, eliminate all our national security and introduce a neo-Socialism.
  2. How to legalize infanticide.

Am I the only one to see the hypocrisy?

To attain these goals, the people who allegedly work for all Americans, are busy concealing facts, disregarding witnesses and ignoring experts in both the national security sectors and medical fields.

Those we trusted to protect us, are playing political games with the lives of every American citizen.

            How, in the name of all that is sacred to our country and society are they getting away with this?

            They can do it because American voters have surrendered to false promises and hypocrisy of radical Socialist agendas.

            Here is a list of Federal Laws Providing for the Death Penalty.

                        18 U.S.C.  23326        Murder involving torture.

                        18 U.A.C.   1958         Murder for hire.

                        18 U.S.C.     111         First Degree Murder.

                        18 U.S.C.   1091         Genocide.

                        18 U.S.C.   241, 242, 248, 247 Civil Rights violations resulting in death.

My questions regarding this are:

Which, if any, Federal Laws would be broken by the recent enactment of the New York state Abortion law allowing for full-term abortions?

If a Planned Parenthood clinic receiving taxpayer money (Federal funds) to operate performed abortions which, if any of these Federal Laws would they have broken?

            If a doctor working in a facility that received Federal Funding, which, if any of these laws would he or she have broken by leaving a delivered, full-term infant then setting it aside to die because the mother didn’t want it.

            The same questions must be asked of the clinic staff and of midwives.

            I, for one, feel that the use of taxpayer funds murder innocent children is a Federal Crime and should be treated as such.

Bibliography

Federal Laws Providing for the Death Penalty. (n.d.). Retrieved 2 1, 2019, from https://deathpenaltyinfo.org/federal-laws-providing-death-penalty

Furman v. Georgia – MR. JUSTICE BRENNAN, concurring. (n.d.). Retrieved 2 1, 2019, from law.cornell.edu: https://www.law.cornell.edu/supremecourt/text/408/238#writing-USSC_CR_0408_0238_ZC1

Online Etymology Dictionary: “hypocrisy.” (n.d.). Retrieved 2 1, 2019, from Etymonline.com: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=hypocrisy

Ruddy, C. J. (1929). Hypocrisy–A By-Product of Paternalism. Notre Dame Law Review, 4(6), 374. Retrieved 2 1, 2019, from http://scholarship.law.nd.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4403&context=ndlr

Civilized?

Read an article this morning about those states that are passing legislation to allow the murder of innocent children under the guise of a woman’s right to choose. In essence, what this appears to mean is that a woman can go out, have unprotected sex, get pregnant then has nine months to decide the fate of that that innocent child.

The most grotesque part about this is there appears to be no limit in the number of times a woman can do this.

THAT IS NOT CIVILIZED. Fact of the matter is, that is beyond the comprehension of the average person. It is making an innocent child the sacrificial victim of an out of control society.

While I acknowledge that there are exceptions to everything, I personally feel that any woman who demands the murder of an innocent child because she failed to protect against creating an innocent child should be sterilized.

These woman who demand we respect their decisions because it’s their body, should not be allowed to use it as an execution chamber. I also feel that any man who fathers a child because he also was too self-absorbed to prevent creating a new life should held accountable for the future of that child and, allowed a presence and voice in that child’s future.

It is long past time we stop making others pay for out irresponsible actions.

“Dear Papa Nyk, why should I have to give up eighteen or more years of my life because I made a mistake and got pregnant?”

Dear Ms. ****, Why should an innocent child give up his or her life because to made a mistake and got pregnant?

When did Women decide they are God?

As an ex-paramedic, my memory is filled with stories of human cruelty to other humans, but nothing in all those years compares to what is happening in our country today.

I’ve assisted with emergency childbirth on a number of occasions and actually assisted with a couple of Cesarean Sections in the operating room.

Of the twenty-three deliveries I’ve been involved with, two, both of which occurred in rural Minnesota, stand out as clear as if it were yesterday.

The first one involved a young married woman having her first child. She and her husband had a small farm about twelve miles from town. Now, if you are familiar with winter weather in Minnesota, you know it can change in a heartbeat and most weather forecasters, at least at the time, were not experts.

Very early one morning, we received a call for a woman in labor with special instructions from the doctor. Those instructions stated that we should attempt an on-site delivery, but should simply bring the woman to the hospital He actually stated that he was sure it was going to be a still-born. Aside from this slight detail, the only problem we faced was about thirty-seven inches of snow and winds were making drifts over the roads.

The road we had to take to get to the farm, was a county one and we needed help to get through. Luckily for us, the state had two large graders working the area and they volunteered them to go ahead of us and open the road. There was also a state highway patrol unit escorting us but still took almost three hours to go the 12 miles, and one grader in a ditch to do it.

When we arrived at the farm, a very nervous young father-to-be met us and led the way into the house where the mother (his wife) was laying in bed. Her water had broken and she was in full labor but contractions were not very frequent yet. I examined her doing the normal vitals (pulse, respiration and blood pressure) then I did the abdominal exam to see if I could determine the position of the fetus. While doing this, I was listening for fetal heart tones with a pediatric stethoscope and wouldn’t you, I heard that little ticker (fetal heart) pounding away like a jackhammer.

As we didn’t have any of the new communications devices, I had to run back out into the snow to radio what I had found to the doctor who was in the hospital.

I told the doctor I felt we had a viable fetus and that I planned not trying to deliver it at home. The ambulance was better equipped to handle a birth if we had to. The doctor was pretty negative stating he felt it would be a still-birth. Without saying it, I got the impression he didn’t think me qualified to determine, but I said we’re coming in fast and there was nothing we could do about it.

With the help of the highway patrolman and the road crew, we got momma bundled up and loaded for a fast ride to the hospital. Just before we pulled out, I checked for dilation and she was at an estimated seven centimeters, so things were starting to move.

We got her to the hospital in about thirty minutes, and about forty-five minutes later, she had a beautiful, healthy little boy. I got a hug from Momma, and a hug from Papa and, to my surprise, a well done from the doctor.

The other case was more tragic. It happened in another small town nine miles from the hospital. A call came in for an unknown issue. As was the policy then, the dispatcher notified the local constable (yep, the town was that small) who was sent to the scene.

On arrival we found the constable standing outside with an elderly woman. When asked what the emergency was, we were directed to an attic room in an old two story house where we found a young mentally challenged girl covered in blood. When we asked what happen, she simply screamed and pointed to a bloody towel on the floor.

On examination, I found a newborn fetus in respiratory distress. Immediately, I began infant CPR and told my partner to get help to take the girl out as I was going to rush the fetus to the hospital in with the constable in his squad car.

When I got outside, I grabbed the constable and ordered him to rush me, and the fetus to the hospital and to radio ahead.

“The radio doesn’t work.” was his reply.

OK, let’s get going – turn on your lights and siren this is critical!

“The siren doesn’t work.”

Get in the damn car, turn on your lights and let’s go.

After a twenty minute, scary ass drive with the constable, we made it to the hospital and, luckily, there was a doctor immediately available, but it was too late. The fetus had bled out.

The story was, the mentally challenged girl was raped by her uncle and the family decided to keep it a secret.

When the girl woke up the morning of the incident, she apparently had some cramps and her water broke. From what we could ascertain, the fetus had already started to deliver but was in a footling breech position. When the girl reached down between her legs, she took hold of the fetus’s leg (a girl) and traumatically extracted it causing severe tearing from the anus to an inch or so in front of the vagina.

There was nothing anyone could have done to save this infant. To see her lying all twisted and bloody on the gurney made me cry.

Now, when I read about how women are demanding the right to murder, yes, I call it murder, innocent fetuses, I remember that innocent child on the gurney and want to scream.

Yes, I agree that women should have the right to say what happens to their bodies, but that right should not include the right to determine who lives or dies. Once it is known that there is a life form (or more than one) growing within the woman’s womb, she is no longer making decisions only for herself. In the case of abortion, the woman is making decisions concerning the life or death of another person who, at the time, is not able to speak for his or herself. Allowing women to be judge, jury, and executioner is giving her the authority to be God over another human being.

I’m neither a Christian, Jew, Muslim or follower of any other formal religion. I’m simply a man who believes there is a power greater than any of us that allows us to think for ourselves. When we can’t, that power steps in to help. I believe that power stepped in to save one baby and allow another to pass out of this realm with only the love and compassion of those who cared for her in the end.

I believe that our court systems have gone too far with the insanity of infanticide caused by the Roe v Wade ruling. In essence, it has given women the right to play God and murder an innocent (or more) to assuage their guilt for not being responsible for their actions.

Infanticide is not the answer!

The Love Program

“You never tell me you love me anymore!”

There are hundreds of retorts I could use against this comment, but the one most important to my personality is, I didn’t say it very much when I asked you to become my life partner.
As a writer, I like to think I know the importance of words, especially in relationships, but for me, overusing a word in the hopes of keeping someone in my life is like building a relationship on sex. It does not work, here’s why I think that way.
One day, long, long ago when I was a paramedic on the Minneapolis General Hospital Ambulance Service, we used to transport patients with severe mobility challenges to and from various clinic appointments both at the hospital at other government-sponsored clinics. One of my favorite runs was to pick up someone I referred to as my Keller Angel (I won’t use her real name). She was a very pretty younger teenage girl who had lost her eyesight and abilities to speak and hear due to a very abusive parent. The details of her trauma are not the critical issue, how she handled the aftermath is the real story.
Now, I was young myself at the time, just barely twenty-one and in pretty good shape. I was no supermodel hunk, but I wasn’t ugly either.
When it was my rotation to work the clinics run, I was always excited to see my Keller Angel’s name on the trip sheet. I made it a point to schedule her for the first stop coming and the last stop going home so we could communicate between stops to pick up other patients if we had any on the schedule.
Now, you may ask how we communicated, well it wasn’t easy at first, but she and the staff at the clinic taught me enough to interact with her. You see, she was a student at the Helen Keller Institute in Minneapolis and lived with a lovely family who also had a Keller child who was a graduate and in college.
We communicated through touch; simple gestures that sent messages between people. Things like a tight grasp of my hand told me she had a problem or was in pain, but a soft brush of it meant she was happy to see me. She also likes to give me pointers on my aftershave lotion or cologne by either pinching her nose or touching it with one finger and smiling.
At the Keller Institute, she was taught to spell out words on the palm of someone’s hand, but I had trouble learning that one; didn’t spend enough time with her I guess. Then that one day came, the day we dread, but life goes on; her family was moving to Arizona where her father had gotten a great job. When we brought her home that last time, her mother asked me to wait a short time because my Keller Angel had something she wanted her to say to me.
My Keller Angel said, through the interpretation provided by her mother that she had never felt so loved before. She apologized for not being able to tell it to me but wanted me to realize I had helped her learn that love, true love is not in words, but is in deeds, commitments, and promises kept.
“I will always love you because you are what love means to me.” were the last words she gave me.
I had forgotten those words until recently when I was accused of not loving someone because I didn’t say enough, or do the kinds of things this person felt I should do to demonstrate my feelings. I guess I was supposed to act in a manner appropriate to the demands of my partner, rather than being myself, the original object of affection.
That may be true, at least in that person’s eyes, but then merely echoing “I love you” over and over again does nothing more than making the words, just words sans real meaning.
There is an adage; “Actions speak louder than words.” The actions of my Keller Angel spoke of a real sense of caring for someone. Because she took the time to overcome the communications challenge and expressed herself in a very non-verbal way every time we were together.
I learned that perhaps I couldn’t, or wouldn’t say I love you all the time, but if love means being there for you; never letting you down or breaking a promise, then I am saying I do love you, you just aren’t listening.

Assume

Let’s break down the word assume: Ass U Me. How’s that sound now?

Sounds to me like you and I are both asses if we assume, but we do it, almost every day of our lives. Ever wonder why that is?

My guess, based on my experience and obvious lack of information along the way, is that we’re too easily influenced by hype, need for acceptance and just plain lazy asses.

I have, or I should say had, because I think they disowned me for reasons they either refuse to state or seem to have some form of proof of my guilt, in either case, none that I know of are aware of the big picture, but they assume I am guilty as charged.

I will be the first to admit there are issues, many of which I’m guessing none of these assumptive rejectionists are well informed about, nor do they care to be. What they do care about it their ability to speak freely on matters pertaining to me as though they are experts on my life and philosophy.

What fools we be, to bend the knee, and blindly reject what we refuse to see.

I’ve learned that through writing and, probably more importantly, editing, the value of citations (aka cites) to substantiate a point; example:

“Jimmy stole Johnnie’s laptop! He should be arrested!”

First question that comes to my mind now is, how do you know this is true?

“Umm, er, ahh, well Johnnie told me.”

Second question, how does Johnnie know?

“I dunno, but he said he did.”

Pretty classic assumption on the part of junior, but not provable in court, unless of course, Johnnie has a pic, a recording, or a witness, all of which are, in essence, citations.

Had junior said, Johnnie said, “Sally saw Jimmy take his laptop, you would have a citation.” (OMG, I’m dating myself with those names; can’t wait to mention Spot.)

The issue is this, an assumption is nothing more than unproven idea based on no facts.

In writing, especially college level, citations are critical to every paper a student may write. If you’re quoting (citing) a comment in a book, you need to identify the book, author, page(s) and other information that allows the reader to access your proof.

In a court of law, what is a witness? Basically, a witness is a living citation. (I’m stretching the definition, but hey, if you’re starting to understand better, it’s worth it.

So let’s take this a step further with Credible Citations. Obviously, in our little scenario, Johnnie is not a very credible witness cause he “dunno.” He is assuming, not proving his claim.

In writing, one must employ credible citations or risk being challenged for plagiarism (stealing someone else’s ideas, work, etc.) which can destroy your hopes of ever being truly believable.

Would this be a credible citation: “Sally said, Johnnie said Jimmie took his laptop?” Nope, why look at the spelling of Jimmy. Small error, but a critical one, especially in court.

How about this one: Sally said Jimmy showed her his “new” laptop and she saw Johnnie’s name scratched on the bottom. Yes, you have witness and source point for verification.

The same principle holds true when writing example: “We have only just begun to fight.” With the quotation marks, we are claiming it as a direct quote, not an assumption. Now we need to show who or what we’re citing and where we got it.

Franklin D. Roosevelt, October 31, 1936, https://patriotpost.us/documents/284. This is a very simple format, college level formats are more detailed, but it gives you a path to the statement.

Learning to cite, or if you prefer, quote people, places or things in your life decreases a tendency to assume facts are true, rather than proving them because assuming makes an ASS of U and ME.

Assumptions are the tools of the trade for those wanting to control people. “You must believe me because I know everything.” But cannot prove anything but you must assume I do.

Everyday, I hear people demanding we make assumptions on matters because their information comes from polls, experts and people who know. What pools, what experts and what people, they rarely provide those details.

I think the most tragic and demoralizing display of assumption by propaganda came with the attack on the Covington Catholic High School student who simply stood and smiled at someone harassing him, and his fellow students. Allegedly, through the use of well edited video, propagandists manipulated the situation to make it appear that the student was the culprit in this incident. As a result, assumptions were made by many radical extremists that the high schools kids were at fault and threats were made against them. Thankfully, an unedited version of the incident showed that the high school students neither physically nor verbally assaulted anyone but, because the original edited video was shown by mainstream media without citation, it was assumed to be correct and the threats keep coming.

The result of these assumptions may affect innocent people for years to come. It could have been avoided, but no wanted to verify until it was too late.

How should love be shown?

I’m curious, do all people demonstrate their affection for another in the classic romantic manners of the movies and novels?

Of those that do, can you tell me if that truly makes a difference or are there other acceptable ways to demonstrate your love for another.

Now, before anyone chews my head off, I want to explain something here. I’m not against the romantic love as seen in movies and novels but I am against fake demonstrations of love.

Anyone else ever heard this phrase? “You have to love me for me! Accept me as I am!”

Umm, nope, I do not have to love anyone period. I love those I choose to love and I show my affection for them in a thousand different ways, but I don’t say I love you 100 times a day, nor will I kiss you if you smoke.

Why you ask? Because you didn’t smoke when I fell in love with you, your smoking clings to your clothing and hair and I don’t kiss ashtrays.

Will I still love you? Yes.

How about hearing this: “Why don’t you snuggle and spoon with me in bed?”

I’ll start with the smoking issue here and add on, you breath also smells like stale beer and vomit, you just puked all over the bathroom and I think you forgot to unzip your pants to piss.

Will I still love you? Yes.

Why can’t we afford to go on a nice vacation like others do?”

Since you’ve been using your credit card everyday to buy packs of cigarettes for $8.00 each in your fancy bars, I’ll start with your smoking. I’ll follow that up with the bar tab receipt you dropped showing how much you enjoy aged Scotch and imported ales. Last, but certainly not least, let me mention the money you lost at the casino when you said you were at your friend’s house. Don’t worry, I covered the car payment but there may be an issue with the rent again, and it was nice of the Casino to take your car keys and send you home in a cab.

Will I still love you? Yes.

By the way, I forgot to mention someone by the name of Kelly, not sure if it’s a guy or a girl, keeps calling for you. Won’t tell me what it’s about or give me a number for you to call back. Not sure what it’s all about but the last call came in from a state STD clinic.

Will I still love you? Yes.

You ask why there is no longer any affection between us, it’s pretty simple.

I love you, always have and maybe always will, but now I have to love me more.