seed

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Self-Actualization

Lindsoe,  R. Nyk

Ritts, V.PH.D,

Adolescent Psychology   

My grade

8-Oct-2014                                       

In his 1943, “Hierarchy of Needs paper, psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) theorized ultimate need of humans is to be truly “self-actualized.” Displayed here, the final need before “self-actualization” is “self-esteem; for my purposes, I refer to it as positive self-esteem.

            At the end of my first Psychology paper, I asked the question, “Why dad?” I doubt I will ever get an answer but as of now, I no longer care. I took the childhood hours of isolation and abuse and turned them into learning about the world as I saw it. I took the pain of rejection and used it as a tool to mold myself into the extrovert I am now. I took the phrase I often heard: “You can’t do it!” and turned it into “I can’t do it if I don’t at the very least try!” I learned to face adversity with the only true weapons I had, my brain and my determination to overcome. Even when homeless, I never completely gave in. Yes, there many obstacles in my path; some of my own making, others not, but all lessons I needed to learn.

            My one fear was arrogance! For some reason, I was, and still am, terrified of being characterized as arrogant because I am not. I am confident in the knowledge I possess and the knowledge I want to learn. Maybe, I do not have the academic credentials of my peers but they do not possess my the life credentials I do.

            Do I have positive self-esteem? Yes! Have I realized self-actualization? No, not yet, but I’m still a work in progress; the day I stop trying is the day my doctor says “He’s gone.”

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Needs of the Heart

Pity the soul,

So lost in the self,

A journey of one,

Destination, unknown.

Searching the pathways,

What markers be found,

Guides but illusion,

Where egos abound.

Each pace a challenge,

Life’s path still obscure,

Denial of self,

Impedes lasting cure.

Wake to the light,

Strength must forebear,

Dispel all deception,

Untruth to foreswear.

See self in one’s truth,

Reap love where abounds,

Let today birth tomorrow

Own virtue that expounds.

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Greatest Love, You Will Ever Know

When I grow sad, my heart so low,

 Tomorrow’s burdens may hinder,

Struggle within over-lades my will,

Waking, a chore does linger.

Alone, I cry, walls not to echo,

My search for peace,

No paved path do I find,

World besets, doth increase.

As I rise to challenge,

New day to receive,

My faith grows stronger,

In myself to believe.

For there before me,

In semblance clear,

Behold magic imposing,

My lover does appear.

 Anew I claim,

Love be mine,

Forever devoted,

I will love me thru time.

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Stella

Wonderous Lady of Light,

Seeker in darkness,

True meanings of right.

Be she witch or seer,

Does matter count foul,

If her visions are clear?

Blessed is my world,

Since her presence appeared,

My soul long closed, now unfurled.

Her guidance, a stimulus,

My path never more certain,

Future now boundless.

May I ever be blessed,

Her countenance surround me,

 Never to deny my soul to rest.

Let none declare deception,

 Her virtues now laid bare,

 Gift of vision with precise reception.

Fear not her words, never call bogus,

 For challenge invites,

  Visit of fire breathing penis.

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With Love

How does a man describe perfection,

To note more than beauty of another’s reflection?

Were, I, mere mortal, sublime elegance to seek,

Be blinded by the vision, your charms bespeak?

The fire in your eyes, your lust for life,

Conceals no pretentions, nay,  your love be rife.

To capture your heart, a challenge unmet,

Should many pursue, but no winner as yet.

Do you hide from suitors, in fear of amour,

Or live in the shadows awaiting one you adore?

Stand fast to your dreams, your visions to see,

Open your heart, set its wonders to be free.

Accept true love offered, duration its value,

Assaults on your person, to the pain say adieu.

Love of yourself, your first ever romance,

May pleasure and joy within heart ever dance.

Free of constraints, soul’s voice sing your love,

Echos like thunder, roiling in clear sky above.

Your beauty beyond ken, your heart so rare,

Would one such as I, ever think less to care?

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The Fish That Climber the Tower

Life not easy, for most an intricate chore,

To realize one’s goals, each day new struggle,

Leaving myriad others worse than gone before.

I speak to those, who’s plight oft seen as bravado,

Covert burden of false facade born of inner grief,

Mask of mourning, hidden tears must forego.

“I am not worthy, this I know!”

Came cry of one so dear,

“Lost in my mind, midst blizzard of black snow.”

I say to you, my love,

Stand fast, defy the pain, your worth eternal equal,

 Gift of birth from one above.

Surrender no longer to the fool’s plight,

Reach deep within your spirit,

Forgive yourself first battle of your fight.

Amass your arms, your qualities beyond reproach.

Gird yourself in knowing,

Challenge tormenting feelings that encroach.

Bend ear to those who love you,

Their words magic balm will serve,

For who better to help, defeating mental coup?

Live each day, a renewal hour set aside,

To meditate, no darkness to allow,

Let heart smile within you, self-love be not defied.

In calm of nature, while thoughts may rage anew,

Step back from the edge of pain,

Let new life and spirit enter you.

For it is within your power,

To alter what has been, to bathe in the solace,

Of the fish that climber the tower.

I love you Deke. We love you,  Deke!

You must love you now Deke!!!

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My Love Knows Not Requiem

My wonderful, beautiful, precious one

Your existence a blessing, my life did improve,

Countenance though eclectic, no enemy of love.

Once shy, oft-hidden, your affections a treasure,

Wisdom untried, a world alien in your view

You strode into hell, mistakes did make.

Sacrifice though oppressive, lessons to learn

Your truth must understand, love you did gain.

From your trials emerge, new strength in denial,

Refusal to admit valid love in mirror’s eye.

Tomorrow, never today, sun to rise again,

Let your heart receive blessings, love forever stay,

Accept what you’ve given, a return on your love.

Deke, my sweet Deke, let my love reach your heart,

Gather it to you, that we never again hurt,

For once in a lifetime, comes that which we need,

Love of oneself our ally for life, my beloved.

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Sing Not Paean To Sorrow

You hide your pain,

Sorrow not to confront.

Did spirit surrender,

Cause unknown?

Confusion of no little report,

Assails the soul,

Lingering within,

Release, yet to birth.

Thoughts remain to no resort.

Yet strength of will,

Defends heart’s desire,

Confounds what might have been.

Love be enchanted sword,

To cleave the wall of pain,

Your soul to free; true devotion will be,

Sorrow’s Paean naught but requiem.

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Ode to Fallen Warriors

Each day, as I rise, new world to see,

            My heart more leaden has fate denied.

What trials once faced, burdens we bore,

            That creations of our loins so oft deny.

Did our battles and toil, once new path generate,

            Our longing for peace, no longer unique goal?

Have those we nurtured, bled for and cried,

            Our hopes and dreams for them denied?

Were I less stronger, more feeble and weak,

            I would still step to challenge against the now.

For within my heart, my mind doth decree,

            No, no more, shall psychosis again rule.

We fought the fight, not to surrender the day,

            Our longing for tomorrow, forever in command.

 To those who refute wisdom of the ages,

            I stand now to declare you at fault for this time.

For in your arrogance, no grace do you bare,

            No honor your cuirass to shield, your weapon dull sword.

Awake young neophyte, your future you threaten,

            Possess the clues your forebears provide.

Look into your soul, for your battle is within,

History your guide, the lessons are all there.

Tomorrow can be yours if yesterday is remembered.

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Our World’s Greatest Foe

Do we humans in our folly,

            Grant credence to the fact,

Our wisdom oft flawed,

            Emotions do contend.

That we face not our demons,

            Nor strike back against deceit?

Yet stand midst the battle,

            Our voices to scream,

Our pain, a ballad

            Heard only by the deaf.

Why does our pride,

            Hero’s garland we claim,

Defeat all logic,

            That war may never end.

For who is our enemy,

            That so simple a ruse

Leaves confusion and conjecture,

            New weapons to defeat?

Think not, noble warriors,

            Your enemy to destroy,

For the arms raised against you,

            Were made not of steel,

Mere straightforward the shield,

            Carried by Silence, indisputable foe.